5 reasons I hate the Premier League

The turkey’s been eaten, the presents opened and the New Year has brought in. In football, this means one thing, “silly season” has begun. It’s January, therefore the chequebooks are out, teams begin to panic and valuations of players are rising quicker than VAT.

The January transfer window always renews my growing dislike of the Premier league, and I feel like venting my issues with the “best league in the world”.

Here’s 5 things I hate about the Premier League :

1) Delusional clubs.

The last few days, the transfer story grabbing the attention and the headlines of the press hounds has been Ronaldinho’s proposed deal with Blackburn Rovers. Blackburn Rovers new owners have displayed there intent in trying to sign a former “Ballon D’Or” winner, but realistically the chances of a world renowned Brazilian superstar settling in the freezing cold of Lancashire seem highly unlikely.

Ronaldinho playing for Blackburn would be the equivalent of Adrian Chiles pulling Cheryl Cole with his charismatic personality. It’s a good thought, but the chances are slim to non-existent, and in the end it would only end in heartbreak.

Man City – Robinho
Newcastle –Patrick Kluivert
Middlesbrough – Michael Reiziger, Alen Boksic

These should be the only warnings Blackburn need not to sign the buck tooth starlet.

2) The financial aspect

When Arsenal play the tougher team on there schedule (Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Spurs) the average ticket price at the Emirates inflates by over 120% from £38 to £90. For a team that has seemed reluctant to flex their muscles in the transfer market, to price out a huge portion of there support with there commitment to exploiting the fans that can afford the extravagant prices seems somewhat a proverbial middle finger to the “gooner faithful”.

3) Atmosphere…or the lack of it

Carrying on from the previous point of fans being priced out of games, attendances dropping like the last season of “Scrubs” viewing figures and stadiums quieter than a tense poker game. Newcastle United, a club of proud heritage, pride themselves on their consistently loyal support and there levels of passion for their club. Newcastle have seen drops in there attendance with some games failing to attract 40,000 barcodes at St.James’ Park.
Not only are the stadiums full of more empty seats than a theatre when Tim Minchin’s performing, but there soulless and lifeless. Gone are the days of stadiums like Highbury and the classic European nights at Anfield, stadiums with character and quirks, or an old fashioned raucous atmosphere. Highbury, although never known for it’s atmosphere, is like “Saved By The Bell”. It’s a classic which couldn’t be saved with renovations or spin-off shows, but you never realise how much you liked it until you saw the modern day alternative.

4) Officials/Favouritism

Which two teams have been awarded the most penalties over the last 3 years? And which two teams have garnered the most points in the same time? That’s right, Manchester United and Chelsea. Although it could be consumed as a coincidence. It’s not! The pressure referees are placed under by Alex Ferguson, and Rio Ferdinand and John Terry et al is insurmountable. The fear of being lambasted in the awaiting press conferences and the scrutiny placed over them for future reference. The Premier league and the F.A bowing to the aforementioned wishes. It’s a hard job being a referee.

It also doesn’t help that the head of referees and the man whose example the officals are meant to follow was Keith Hackett. This is similar to making Charlie Sheen the head of the Catholic church.

The bigwigs at the F.A are at fault for a lot of this, their negligence against the bullying the games bigger names place on the referees just even more disparity in an already unfair league.

5) David Beckham

Premier league teams are queuing round the block to talk to David Beckham about coming and playing for there respective team briefly before the MLS season takes shape.

Don’t get me wrong, from the late 90’s to the mid 00’s David Beckham was a magnificent player, his crossing was as precise as any player I can remember. He thoroughly deserved his big money move to Madrid. It’s since leaving Madrid Beckham started becoming an issue to me, lingering onto the limelight like a bad smell. These are my problems with Beckham.

a) He belongs to L.A Galaxy, they signed him, he’s under contract there, yet he assumes every year it’s his divine right to go out on loan to whoever he chooses, risking injury (i.e at Milan last season) and play the whole year round.
b) His sole reason for trying to manipulate a move to the Premier League is so he can keep stealing England caps with 10 minutes performances at the end of games. Beckham has been through a lot with the national team, but him breaking Bobby Moore’s record would be the biggest travesty in British football since England appointing Graham Taylor as manager.
c) He’s basically become the English answer to Brett Favre, he’s been such a great player that you can’t force him out, but deep don we all know he isn’t good enough now he’s older and the whole media circus is becoming a bore.
So, if Spurs, Sunderland and Blackburn have any sense they’ll avoid a 2 month rental of Beckham, stick with the players they have already, and let Beckham ride off into the sunset like a golden silhouette, like a clichéd ending to a western film.